Check out what our counselors are saying and sharing
Not surprisingly, my financial therapy clients with low to moderate income and few assets often experience symptoms of financial stress such as anxiety and depression. Even though they juggle their funds by alternating which bills they pay each month, they still come up short. Interestingly, even clients with triple digit incomes and substantial assets report symptoms of financial stress such as panic attacks, mood swings, and a loss of interest in regular activities.
Paradoxically, the attainment of more income does little to alleviate financial hardship. Increases in salaries are expended on larger houses, finer wines and more frequent and extravagant vacations. Soon yesterday’s luxuries are today’s necessities. Too often, when a couple’s spending is disproportionate to their income, they contend with more than harassing calls from bill collectors. Financial pressures lead to arguments, especially as the pile of unopened and unpaid invoices fill the mailbox. Numerous research studies reveal that arguments about money are more likely to predict divorce than arguments about other topics. Utah State University researcher, Jeffrey Dew found that those couples who are burdened by higher debt argued more frequently about their finances and spent less time together. One reason couples may argue about money is they do not share a unified view of their family income, assets and liabilities. One study found that half of the couples surveyed reported significant differences in knowledge of family assets and liabilities.
Poet E. E. Cummings summed up the financial condition of these clients when he acknowledged,
“I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.”
Are you and your income “living apart”? Would you like to get your spending more in line with your income? Are your financial problems exacerbated by relationship tensions?
If so, you may benefit from reevaluating your spending priorities. For many couples, spending creeps up each year until there is not enough money to pay for all those luxurious necessities. That is, until there is a financial crisis. A Pew Research found that many Americans changed their minds about which everyday goods and services they could live without when unemployment, foreclosures and personal bankruptcies were on the rise from 2006 to 2009. Over this period, a declining proportion of all the adults surveyed viewed the following items as necessities: microwave (-21%), clothes dryer (-17%), home air conditioning (-16%) and dishwasher (-14%). Looking more closely at the survey answers reveals that higher-income adults are more likely than lower-income adults to rate more of the items as necessities regardless of the prevailing economic conditions. It seems that as higher incomes are spent instead of saved, people become trapped into a more luxurious lifestyle.
Implementing spending cuts is never easy. Financial therapy may help you sort out what is really necessary for your financial wellness and relationship satisfaction.
Dr. Jean Theurer is a Certified Financial Planner® and a Registered Marriage and Family Intern.
LCS is pleased to announce that we will begin offering groups this Fall, beginning this coming September 14th with:
Family Members and Caregivers of those who have ADD:
This group/workshop intends to create a therapeutic environment to address the stressors, needs, questions and concerns for spouses, partners or parents of family members who have been diagnosed with ADD or one of its subtypes. The group will bust myths and evaluates the truths and untruths about what it is and is not from an empowerment, relational and CBT perspective. Across the duration of the group, new and enlightening perspective(s) of ADD its phenomenal effects,positive and negative on relationships, communication, successes in school, work, and strategies will be explored, shared with format for more to evolve.
Women with ADD:
This group will also endeavor to create a therapeutic environment to address the stressors, needs, questions and concerns for adult women, 21-65 with ADD. The group will bust myths and evaluates the truths and untruths about what it is and is not from an empowerment, relational and CBT perspective. Across the duration of the group, new and enlightening perspective(s) of ADD its phenomenal effects,positive and negative on relationships, communication, successes in school, work, and useful strategies will be explored, shared with format for more to evolve. In addition, the group will be encouraged and compelled to look at shifting from the liability models to asset models.ADD Group for Caregivers and Family Members ADD group:workshop for Women 2
Also coming soon are similar groups for adult males, male middle schoolers, female middle schoolers